Shades - A Poem

Thunder grew steady

As the flowers swayed

In disarray

 

And the stars

Made no space for a darkened night


 

And I could no longer remember

The sun's sweet escapade

 

The storm is coming

And I have been waiting for it all my life

And my life has waited too

 

And those days

When my shadow would

Stretch for miles ahead of me

Appear as sand flowing through the hour glass

As my shadow slowly falls behind.

 

Why do we always feel so small

In times of greatness and victorious

Merritt?

 

I wish I had the answer

Even though I suspect you do.

 

Sun grew tall, but vanished in the fall

As the smallest of days

Turned to days of dispute

 

A mind conflicted

By the glittering skyscrapers

Colliding with suburban lawns

Empty palms

And the trembling travellers

 

And I learned to succumb to it

As I let the scrapes cut me open

And send me up and up and and away
 

And then I remained

And forgot the feeling of air

But believed I was still flying

When I was really falling

 

And the city lights saved me
And I never remained

Me.

 

And she told you she'd hold your hand

And she always did



But her hands never expected
To have to hold on for so long

Or for you to want them
To hold on even longer

For they only rested in oblivion,
And the man in the corner told you
He’d hold your heart too

But his hands never made it feel
Like tomorrow would be worth it
Even if today wasn't.


 

The wrinkles between your eyebrows

The pieces of your soul

You gave to them without worry

 

And you couldn't help but ask yourself

 

Is it all really worth it?

Is happiness what makes life effervescent

And will the taste of tears every morning

Ever change?

 

Perspective reaches a new kind of fervor

While thunder beats the heart from across the sea

And flutters the butterfly's wings in the windowsill

 

Change has changed

And I no longer remember how to long for it.

 

The days had gone cold.

I don't remember when the snowflakes turned to dripping

And while the sun made my skin turn back into my own

The winter of my mind remains lurking behind the curtains.


For my mind relied

On the tap never closing
And I never let mine close

 

I let myself go

Drop by drop

 

Because I used to be shut

And as I did, I shut the world out with it

 

For I thought it was better to leave it all be

Than let it all out

And close the tap by midnight

When letting myself rain over her

Was the best thing I would ever do.

 

I lost the trust

In other hearts

The moment someone took mine

And left it on the sidewalk

 

And how could you ever

Trust any of them

Who only enjoyed the vessel

And not the operator

 

Those who only enjoyed

When the mind was silenced

 

All of them. None of them. Everyone but one.

 

I shatter upon the dreams I never dreamt
And the unfinished stories I'm afraid to tell



And the hands all let me go
Even if I told them I was falling

And while some reached

I am no longer sure which to hold

Or if anyone will ever hold on to my hands
Long enough



 

Thunder grew steady

As the flowers bent and twisted

 

For the winds were too strong

For such weakened stems

 

And she let go of the ground

And hoped nobody would ever catch her

 

For she knew all they would do

Was pick her pedals off

 

But then it all changed
As the thunder reached its crescendo

And a hand stretched out
And she wondered if it was the right one

 

 

And while it might never be
She stretched for it still

 

For it's better to live through losing what you once won
Than never experience the winning in fear of the possibility of losing.

 

Poetry/ProseSofia Hariz