Honest Talk - A Stream of Consciousness From L.A.

I visited Los Angeles for the second time this Christmas. These were some of the thoughts I had whilst I was there.


"Wow, I'm at LAX on Christmas Eve and I feel like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone."

"Wow, I'm at LAX on Christmas Eve and I probably look like Macaulay Culkin does now."

"OMG it still looks like GTA V!"

"OMG I remember this place from GTA V."

"OMG I remember blowing up 10 cars here in GTA V!"

"I wonder how long it will take before people get tired of me refrencing GTA V"

"Where did everyone go?"

"Wow, it's so hot today"

"Damn, kinda cold today"

"I wonder if celebrities ever go to the Walk of Fame and pretend they're impersonating themselves."

"Why are selfie sticks cheaper than water?"

"I got a feeling that person is peeing right now."

"Griffith Observatory is the most magical place."

"LA at night might just be the most beautiful computer chip I've ever seen."


"Why does every sunset and view of this city make me feel like Brendan Frasier in Bedazzled?!"

"Why can't this moment last forever?"

"This moment is perfect."

"Keep it together!"

"They're just city lights, you're fine."

"Too late."


"I wonder what Norway would be like if everybody said hello to each other like they do here."

"I should never be allowed to walk into a Hot Topic with a credit card."

"I'm so excited about life right now."

"Wow, Tar Pits are really nothing but....tar pits."

"People are so nice here I just want to hug all of them. Really long."

"This Fallout mask makes me look like an extra from The Purge."


"I wish people could love video games at home as much as here."

"I wonder if people from L.A. can drive around in GTA V without looking at the map."

"Why is everyone so adorable here?"

"Capricorn. Pisces. Party."

"Kawaii photobooths in Norway would leave me broke AF."

"Limousine is a weird word."

"Who waters the palm trees?"

"Starbucks fucking everywhere."

"I'm so excited about people being excited here."

"I can't believe I found my hand twin, finally."

"Tar Pits is a funny word."

"The only good thing about the Walk of Fame is that singing Jesus."


"What's everybody's obsession with foreigners?"

"Wait...is it foreigners or the band Foreigner? Oh no..."

"So many contradictions in this city. I never thought I'd see a reflection of myself like this one."

"Do people on the tour buses really think they'll see famous people?"

"I wonder if famous people ever actually meet and greet people on those buses"

"I feel like I'm in a Lana Del Rey video. And that's a wonderful thing."



"There are too many cool people at this party."

"There are too many cool YouTube people at this party."

"There are too many cool Max Landis' at this party."


"The tables in West Hollywood are the best."


"I wonder if this Uber driver will freak out if I ask if I can marry him."

"I don't NEED it, but it's Star Wars so I have to."

"My god, Entourage got this ALL WRONG."

"I'm not gonna take any pictures of those dumb stars on the Walk of Fa...DANIEL RADCLIFFE."

"Oh my god, my hand is actually in Dan Radcliffe's hand. Harry Potter's hand. I wonder if he can feel me."

"My hand twin has softer hands than me. Damn."

"Driving around Los Angeles is freedom."

"Venice Beach is almost Venice Bitch."

"I wonder if my camera will manage to capture how beautiful this place is. Probably not."

"Guy on rollerskates. Guy with pet snake. Bicycles. Venice Beach."


"Eating food with Ian. IndIAN food. L.A. is making me funnier by the minute."

"The Sag AFTRA-building looks like something Milla Jovovich would wake up in in a Resident Evil movie."

"Hi and welcome to Mandatory Update."

"I need a hamburger today."

"While last time visiting L.A. as a tourist was fun, visiting this time around like an old friend visiting his hometown really does feels better."

"So July wasn't a dream after all."

"I miss my travel buddy."

"It's my birthday and I'm in Los Angeles. What's happening."

"Designing your own burger is just the best of ideas."

"What do you even do in L.A. when it's raining?

"Friends are crystals, best friends are jewels."

"Uber on New Years Eve was a bad idea."

"I wonder if anybody on Snapchat will notice that we're half an hour late."

"Best Christmas and birthday ever."

"I don't wanna leave. What if I never come back?"

"I'll come back."

"Saying goodbye to you was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time."


"Rod Stewart."

"I've never felt more home than here."

"I wish you'd never let go of my hand."

"I'm leaving LA today, so not excited about life right now."

"My home. I'll return and live as myself in you sooner rather than later."

"I miss you already."


"Bye Los Santo....erm Angeles."