VIDEO GAME-RELATED LISTS OF CRAP - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE YOUTHS LIKE

So after an hour outside in what looked like a very real set piece from The Day After Tomorrow, I thought I'd write a little blogpost, even without an Emmy Rossum to warm my Jake Gyllenhaal (I don't know what that means either).

As a freelance journalist who is serious about my craft, I decided to focus this week's content on something a bit more hard-hitting and informative to further my career. Which is why I'm gonna make A COLLECTION OF FUN LISTS! YAY! 

 

Because that's what journalists do these days, apparently.

And the youths like them, apparently.

So behold, a selection of totally uninformative and unfunny lists made by yours truly.

 

5 OF LOUIS' MOST MEMORABLE QUOTES IN LEFT 4 DEAD REGARDING PILLS

 

1. "Pills here!"

2. "Grab some pills over here!"

3. "All I know is I'm grabbin' PILLS!"

4. (while giving pills) "Take this!"

5. (while grabbing pills) "I'd better grab everything I can!"

 

5 OF ETHAN MARS' MOST EMOTIONAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS IN HEAVY RAIN

 

1. When he was excited

2. When he was worried

3. When he was scared

4. When he was angry

5. When he was happy

heavyrain.jpg

 

5 PEOPLE IN L.A. NOIRE WHO ARE TOTALLY NOT LYING

 

1. Looks trustworthy enough

2. What is there to doubt?

3. No doubt in my mind he's telling the truth.

4. I'd trust this man with my infant.

5. Truth.

 

5 SUPER EXCITING THINGS WE'LL PROBABLY SEE IN NO MAN'S SKY

 

1. Mountains

2. Trees

3. Colours

4. Dome shapes

5. Some crap in the middle, apparently

 

5 TIMES NATHAN DRAKE WAS GREAT AS MIKE IN UNTIL DAWN

 

1. That time we learned about his traits

2. That time he cut his fingers

3. That time he doubted someone

4. That time he protected someone

5. That time he had a gun

 

5 WAYS TO TEACH GABE NEWELL TO COUNT TO THREE

 

1. One...

2. ...Two...

3. It's before 4 and after 2

4. It's like 'tree', but...

5. HOW MANY GABENS IN THIS PICTURE, GABE?!? HOW MANY?!

 

5 GAMES THAT WOULD BE BETTER WITH 'VR PALMER LUCKEY'

 

1. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5

2. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare

3. Aliens: Colonial Marines

4. NBA 2k16

5. No Man's Sky

 

I'm a professional video game journalist. No ethics.